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  • Writer's pictureDavide Ferrari

You are the average of the people you most often surround yourself with

I am not sure where and when I heard this phrase, but I am finally getting to understanding it.

I interact with people all the time and, despite my difficulty in fully understanding some social behaviours, I can see more clearly that there are people more like what I would like to become and some other more like what I don't want to become.

This is not easy to understand sometimes because it requires us to have a truly clear and articulated idea on the kind of person we want to be in life, but ultimately is one of the most useful things to do because it will determine a lot in our personality, the acceptance of ourselves and how "well" we will do in life.

The biggest trait I have seen is the conscientiousness, i.e., saying that you will do something, which is already a good start, but the actually do it. So it is about the reliability that you prove to yourself and those who surround you.

I have met many people who said they would have done something, but that was subject to any other circumstance and as soon as one new thing came out, they switched to another activity and ditched the former commitment.

This tendency is dangerous because if we start devaluating the commitment also to unimportant things, I don't believe that we are more incentivized to honour the commitment for important things, like relationships and work.

The keywords of this post could be "commitment" or "reliability".

I like to give them a huge priority and importance because, as I said in a former post, we should not pursue happiness (switching from one commitment to another without respect), but instead we should pursue responsibility, and it demands commitment and reliability, always, especially when situations are tough, and we are not that keen to go on.

If you want to pursue meaning and value commitment and reliability, you should surround yourself with people that do the same. They will not disappoint you and will make you want to be like them. It will be a positive compound effect that will make your life better and help you pursuing meaning and responsibility.

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